


The Darkness In My Eyes

by Eustacia Vye (eustaciavye)



Category: Terminator Genisys (2015)
Genre: F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 07:39:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6414802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustaciavye/pseuds/Eustacia%20Vye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightmares and triggers, Kyle and Sarah have them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkness In My Eyes

The nightmare started the way it always did, with the blare of sirens and the sharp report of gunfire. Barbed wire atop chain link fence, the cover of darkness pierced by floodlights sweeping across the yard. Bodies stacked like cord wood, repaired machines starting to roll off the assembly lines, bombs going off in the distance. _No one's coming back for you. No one knows you're here now, and no one cares anymore._

But then came John, hand outstretched to pull Kyle out of the mire.

Kyle desperately grasped hold of John, looking up at his fond and protective smile. "I've got you," he said, confidence in every syllable.

And then his eyes shone red, and he was nothing more than metal, a machine with a death grip on Kyle's hand, crushing all of those delicate bones and tendons.

There was no screaming himself awake; that impulse had been burned out of him long ago. But he came fully awake with a twitch, for a moment not sure where he was. Terror flooded him in the unfamiliar dark, the presence of limbs carelessly tossed over him. Had he been caught? If he passed out, had he been mistaken for dead and thrown into a burial pit?

"Be calm, Kyle Reese."

Sounds registered again, and he realized that he and Sarah had fallen asleep on the bed, and it was her limbs tossed carelessly over his body. She made a little snort in her sleep as he shifted to look at Pops, sitting near the door and clearly watching out for them. He still felt uneasy around him, his instincts screaming _Machine! Run!_ at him, but this one had obviously been reprogrammed to keep the both of them safe. He could trust in that much.

"Nightmares are often a sign of trauma. Those with your upbringing and presence on a battlefront are more likely to experience the kind of trauma that results in nightmares, heightened startle reflex, reexperiencing events and initiating a repetition compulsion."

"Um. Yeah. Thanks."

Easing himself out from under Sarah, Kyle approached Pops. "You had to learn a lot to keep her safe, let her grow up to meet me."

"Affirmative."

Kyle wished he didn't sound so much like a machine, repurposed or not. "Does she get these? The nightmares and stuff?"

"As a child, it was frequent. She didn't wish to discuss the particulars of it, but cabins and large bodies of water triggered them for her."

"So it goes away."

Pops' lips pulled back in that eerie grimace that was meant to be a comforting smile. "The intensity diminishes over time. But there will always be the reminder of past trauma, Kyle Reese. Support of others helps. The presence of safe people helps."

"Sarah."

"Affirmative."

He turned and looked at Sarah, lying on her stomach, legs splayed out and right arm curled up under her. She looked so young and innocent, but he knew how capable she was, how strong she had to be to survive it all.

Kyle turned and looked at Pops. "You're safe, too, Pops."

There came that eerie grimace again. "Sarah Connor will be pleased."

"Yeah, I'm sure she will be," Kyle murmured, getting back into bed with Sarah. Just sleep, nothing more yet. He wasn't going to push his luck and make her feel uncomfortable around him; it had to be bad enough knowing that he already loved her unconditionally.

***

Sarah was rubbing lotion into her skin after her shower when she felt the weight of Kyle's eyes on her. He seemed somewhat embarrassed to be caught at it, and she doubted that it had to do with nudity in general. The teams he had fought with before were mixed gender, after all, and they had all shared barracks, kits and food when able. It seemed to be more that it was _her,_ and he was so painfully earnest in the way he was trying to prove that he cared about her for her, not because of what an alternate version of her would have been.

Gah. Stupid time travel. It made her head hurt.

"Hey," she called, smirking a little. It wasn't as if she was naked. A bra and panties shouldn't have made him flush so badly, so of course she wanted to mess with him a little. "Come help me with my back, huh?"

Kyle was quick to comply, and his touch only faltered when he caught sight of the scars from knife fights and healed over bullet wounds. "Machines," he murmured, tracing the lines and puckered skin.

"Yeah." Her voice was raw suddenly, and she could remember the terrifying moments when the faces of strangers morphed into liquid silver throughout her childhood.

He bent over and kissed the scars, one after the other, his hands on her hips with a light yet comforting touch. "You're a survivor, Sarah."

"The cost is always high," she replied, turning around.

"I know," Kyle murmured, nodding a little. He rubbed the lotion onto the skin of her chest, his breath unsteady in his chest and his eyes studiously meeting hers.

"Still willing to pay it?" she asked quietly.

"Absolutely," he said without thinking. "I met you. I get to see this kind of future."

Sarah caught his hand in hers and brought it to her lips. "If you see me get caught in that thousand yard stare, you can shake me loose."

"Same for me," Kyle said with a smile, nodding firmly. "The past isn't a place where I want to be. The future. That won't ever be. What I remember," he said, tripping over how to phrase it, shaking his head. "It was dark. It was always dark then, even when the sun came up."

"So if I see the darkness in your eyes," Sarah told him gently, "I'll bring you back."

And surprisingly enough, she meant it. She hadn't known him long, and had expected to resent him and his presence, but she _liked_ him, and he was easy to rely on. She could see now why the other version of her would have loved him. It was easy to love him now.

Kyle grinned, equal parts relief and shining love, and leaned in to kiss her.

Wherever they wound up going, that felt like home.

The End


End file.
